ridiculous.

I am, again, wide awake at 2h30 am. and I want to go outside a run a mile...or something like that. I'm starting to feel like I'm edging up on hypomania. I'm starting to want to take on a lot of projects and my mind is getting faster - which is funny because the other day I was thinking about how I miss being able to think that quickly. if I start stammering within the next week I'm definitely going to give Dr. M. a call.

here's what will happen:

1. Dr. M. will up my dose
2. Dr. M. will up my dose and give me something to help me sleep
3. Dr. M. will put me back on lithium (I think it's too early to tell on this one)
4. I will become hypomanic and screw something up - probably my job, possibly a friendship or two. not that I have all that many of those left. also, I may (unintentionally) injure myself again.
5. WHY AM I SUDDENLY OBSESSED WITH MAKING LISTS?

the fact that I can't sleep is not helping my mental status at all. seriously, I'm about to start crying. bloody hell. please sleep, I want you!