Invader Zim

Here's the thing about being a grown up: it kinda sucks.

Yea, you get to do cool stuff...exactly what those cool things are I don't know. Every cool thing I can think of that I currently take part in I've been doing for 5+ years - knitting, singing, theatre, photo shoots, hanging out with friends, driving. But being a grown up is just a lot of bull shit. You're expected to work to pay all kinds of seemingly unnecessary bills, to have certain things, to be a certain way to "get by". If all people are trying to do it "get by", then what's the point of being alive? Here's what I think: If you're alive, you must be passionate about something. I don't care what it is. I can give you a list of things I'm passionate about. Will they support me? Only if I can make a living knitting and people watching.

I found this (well, ok, Stumble found it for me on this blog), and besides being a fantastic photo, I love what it says.

"To make money we loose our health,
and then to restore our health we loose our money...
we live as if we are never going to die,
and we die as if we never lived."

I have a lot of issues with my mother. We're not close, and I'm fine with that. We judge each other more harshly then either of us judges anyone else because neither of us actually is who we want each other to be. I've accepted that, and I think she has, too. Here's a secret my mom (read: family) would disown me for: I dropped out of college. I've told my parents, grandparents, roommates...pretty much everyone that I'm going to graduate in December when that's complete bull shit. So I don't have a degree...big deal! I don't need one, nor do I want one. What good is it really going to do me? College makes me miserable, I don't need one to be a photographer or to support myself, so what's the point, really? Having a degree will not make me happy.

I recently bought myself my first piece of "big girl" furniture - a desk! I haven't had a desk since I was probably 14, and I'm enjoying having it. I'm enjoying having a place for things, for having a piece of "real" furniture, and I'm enjoying the fact that I earned the money and could spend $300 on a desk. I'm not, however, enjoying my job. Oh look, I'm right up there with most Americans! It kind of bothers me when people babble on about how unique they are, because in all honesty, you're not. You're not special, you have no unique thoughts...sorry to burst your bubble. I know, I'm being cynical. Just because you're not one-of-a-kind doesn't mean you're not fabulous, it just means that you should stop being an ass.

So as I sit here watching Invader Zim and remembering how much I used to love this cartoon while I was in high school, I can't help but think about selling all of my possessions and moving to the middle of nowhere to become a potato farmer. Or maybe taking my friend up on staying with him for a while.

At least I get to wear jeans to work tomorrow. It's the little things.