In My Defense: A Story About Wearing Leggings as Pants

I am a hypocrite about many things, but, most recently, I am a hypocrite for wearing leggings as pants.

When I was eleven years old, I lost ten-or-so pounds. As a general rule, losing weight when you're that young and already skinny is a really, really bad thing. So I was taken to the doctor, I had numerous blood tests, and guess what? All normal. Thyroid was normal. White blood cell count was normal. Kidney and liver functions were normal. Aside from being underweight, I was a perfectly healthy sixth grader with a high metabolism. The verdict? I was just doing more than I was used to. I was playing basketball, I was doing shows...basically, I was changing from a stationary kid into an active one. I tried to eat more.

A few years later, it happened again - I dropped about ten pounds for no apparent reason. Again, I had the same myriad of tests and blood work. Again, it was all normal, and the verdict remained: just active. I tried to eat more.

And lather, rinse, repeat at least twice more in my teen years. My doctor all but prescribed me milkshakes, and I tried to eat more. One of these instances had the unfortunate addition of my mother continuously telling me I was too skinny, giving me a complex, and as a result I avoided mirrors for a while. You've all heard body image stories, so I won't go into detail. My mother later apologized.

At age 21, after realizing that I was back down to 105 pounds and at the urging of my roommate, I decided to try another tactic; I got a gym membership and hired a trainer. It took me six months, but I gained six pounds! It was awesome! Here's where it starts to get a bit sour, though. For every excited, trying-to-keep-myself-motivated "Operation Weight Gain" post I made on various social media sites, there were a dozen "I wish I had your problem" or "I should be so lucky" responses. Seriously, folks? I understand that more people have trouble keeping weight off than on, but it's just the other side of a really sucky coin.

In the summer of 2012, I was again down to 105 pounds and pissed. In the last year, I have worked SO hard to gain weight in the form of muscle - and it's starting to pay off. I'm not sure where I am weight-wise, but I'm curvier, I'm stronger, I feel really good, and hey, I'm up two cup sizes and two pant sizes from where I was five years ago. SCORE!

I have spent too much time silently and not-so-silently judging girls who wear leggings as pants. I mean, really? Keep your ass covered.

I have an excuse - I can't afford to buy pants that fit properly. AND I AM SO EXCITED!

Although, let's be honest, it's not really that good of an excuse and most of the time I still try and keep my ass covered.

Running Shoes

Yep, I'm a slacker.

Yesterday, I got running shoes.

In other news, life! I've been cast in a show at the Civic, opening in October, so that's exciting! I also have another ME gig at Farmers Alley as well as some possible work in Saugatuck.

I've been feeling pretty strong lately, which is probably why I haven't written, but, knowing me, there's always something going on in my head - it just needs to be pinned down!

I went shooting with a friend today (cameras, not guns) and in the pictures of me, my arms just look so...thin. I didn't think I looked like a skeletor until today. And it's not my whole body, just my arms and shoulders. Do you know what that means? Yea, weightlifting. I wish I could afford to still have a gym membership.

But then, this man at the theatre told me I'm beautiful.