I've realized that I have no friends and it's my fault. and by "no", I mean "very few". I alienate myself when I'm depressed or overly anxious, like last fall when I pretty much bailed on all of my friends at Wesley. which really the only one I was close to is/was Katie. my other Wesley peeps have all moved to other cities anyway.
which brings me to loving the Brophys. Those boys are absolutely spectacular. I think Jason and I are starting to become closer, which seemed a bit odd to me at first, because I was sweet on him for so long, but it's really nice. it seems like we're just now realizing how much we have in common besides being goofy and just a little off, haha.
I miss Sam. She gets home on Monday though, which is amazing. it's just hard sometimes, because she tends to do the same thing as my mom - I'm not sure either of them can tell when I want their opinion/input versus when I just need them to listen. seriously though, Sam is hands down the best friend I have ever had. Thinking about all these other people I've called my "best friend" in the last 20 years and the only person who can even touch her is Mikey...and those are two different kinds of relationships so I shouldn't compare. I'll probably be fucked when we end up living in different states and, you know, having lives outside of Kzoo. I think that's why people get married. consistancy. they don't have to move across the country by themselves. they don't have to live by themselves. they don't even have to shower by themselves if they don't want to.
I think it's kinda weak though, you know? how can you learn about yourself if you've never been by yourself?
mini rant.
No comments:
Post a Comment