I feel horribly lost today. drowning in my head. I don't know if I can handle all of the time it will take to balance out. I have good physical balance and I would happily give it up if it meant I could be mentally balanced instead.
I'm fighting an internal conflict. one side is glad I'm on medication, excited for the day when it will all kick in and I will snap out of it. the other side is angry and confused, wondering why I'm putting more chemicals into my body, freaking out about side effects, crying because I'm never going to be the same person again, scared that the drugs will make my personality flat. logically, of course, I'm siding with the former. or at least I'm trying to.
why don't I have a counselor yet? that will be priority numero uno for tomorrow.
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