making me smile isn't hard...

...but sometimes people surprise me and the smiles mean more.

2 days until Brian comes home!

My mom called me an adult today.

I like to think I'm good at making it up as I go, but up until this point in my life, I've never really had to. I've always been a planner. Sure, I can do spontaneous trips to the beach or up north to visit a friend, but I've never really had to play my whole life by ear. Let me rephrase that: I've never really let myself play my whole life by ear. I tend to be too fiscally cautious.

Of course, by fiscally cautious, I mean cheap. Now, that's not a negative by any means - in fact it's served me well thus far, which is why right now I have the freedom to work shows and do what I love for a living. And that's not to say I'm not taking the necessary steps to transfer my 403b from the clinic into a 401k from the schools or taking a less active role in my investments, it just means that I'm allowing myself to live in a more expensive house - in exchange for purchasing less clothing and switching to a cheaper cell phone company, among other things, haha.





I'm too distracted to finish this right now. It's late and Brian comes home in 9 days! Also, GOLD BODY SUIT.

A Theatrical Chronography

At age 7, I took my first acting class.
At age 9, I teched my first show.
At age 11, I performed in my first musical.
At age 12, I saw my first Broadway cast.
At age 15, I got my first leading role.
At age 17, I had my first on-stage kiss.
At age 19, I assistant directed my first show.
At age 21, I stage managed my first show.
And now, at age 23, I have received my first credit as assistant lighting designer.

When I was younger, theatre was a source of great catharsis for me. I loved pretending to be someone else, I loved singing every thought and feeling, and, let's be honest, I loved being the center of attention (and still do! haha). Theatre taught me self-awareness, how to read people, and the value of silence, among other things. I just wish I could say it taught me comedic timing!

My mother always used to tell me to settle on a career, to just pick something, and my response generally expressed my inability to choose because I wanted to do everything! Now that I'm immersed in the technical aspects of theatre and have both time and opportunity to absorb as much knowledge as I can, I've realized that this is exactly why I am so enraptured with the entire theatrical process. I want to do everything, and theatre provides that for me. Every show gives me the chance to learn something new about almost anything; carpentry and construction, electrical, finance, music, sewing, dancing, speaking, light, composition, acoustics, computers, metalworking, combat, history, people.

Last night was the first opportunity I've had to sit down and actually watch Phantom of the Opera at Portage Central. I was absolutely blown away! The production value is incredible, the cast is fantastically talented, and it is amazing to see all of my hours of work come to fruition. "My" scenes - the ones where my lighting work played a major part - made my jaw drop. Seriously, the rooftop scene nearly made me cry! I am so lucky to have the opportunity to work with and learn from the rest of the staff on this production. They are not only brilliant at their respective jobs but also really incredible people.

I can't believe that this is what I do for a living.