frozen

I don't really know what to write, I just feel like I should.

it is a fricking icicle in here right now - and we didn't even lose power.

this bipolar/counseling thing is stressful. I'm trying to come to terms with things I don't know how to explain and my therapist is pulling me in a completely different direction. we set therapy goals today. mine is something like "learning to identify triggers of and manage my depression and mood swings". she said she wasn't comfortable using "manic episodes" because she's not convinced I'm bipolar. that's something I need to work out with my head shrinker, who I see again on Friday. that will be AWESOME, especially because I've been in side effects HELL the last week and a half. might as well keep a list.

nausea
dizziness
shaking/tremors
loss of spatial awareness
bruises from running into things because of loss of spatial awareness
rash (possibly left over from the lamictal)
headache
can't think straight...I feel a little slow both physically and mentally

so basically, thank you, lithium, for fucking me up. I really would rather not be on meds. at least not these meds. these meds make me physically sick to the point where even if I'm starving, I don't want to eat because it will make me so nauseous. so basically, lithium causes anorexia.

it's funny how life gets in the way. it's not funny how people get in their own way.